When I first heard about the pomegranate project I was very eager to participate – I knew right away what the pomegranate evoked for me, and I had lots of ideas on how I wanted to proceed.

As time went on and I actually began working on the project, things got more difficult. My first ideas felt too vulnerable and I kept turning away from them, trying other things. In the end I went through four completely different ideas, not liking any of them. I didn’t actually smash or tear up anything, but I can certainly understand why someone would want to. Finally, (on the last day before the due date) I went back to my original idea. Even though it is a difficult piece for me, and not something I feel easy sharing, it is the most true and honest.

The piece is in two parts, both based on the prevalent fertility symbolism associated with the pomegranate. On the left is “The Face of Pain.” This part is a reflection of the painful process of hysterectomy I went through in 2001. And while this was actually a beneficial experience in terms of quality of life, it was also the final seal on the fact of my childlessness and the regret I experienced over that. Hence, the piece on the right called “The Face of Regret.”

NOTE:  I want to make it clear that the images in “The Face of Pain” are not my photographs. I was unable to find pomegranates in the stores, so ended up resorting to stock photo images, which I purchased and licensed for this purpose. The idea, montage design, and layout are mine. The mask in “The Face of Regret” is my face and was made in a group art session with Pat Allen, Jackie Huxel, and Kim Conner. I had originally thought I would paint it, but in the end the monochrome image seems much more true to the mood of the picture. The pomegranate in this picture is the actual pomegranate sent to me by Pat.